Be nice

A week or two ago I had dinner with some colleagues, one of who used to have the same job as me in a similar firm as mine, then went off to do similar work in the law department of a large corporation, then rose through the ranks until he became the director of all he sees. For some context regarding size, my company has about 1,500 people in it. His company just acquired another company (a habit of his company) and the number of jobs that will be cut from the combined company - this is the slough from the synergy, ahem - is 30,000. Not a typo.

So there came in the course of dinner a conversation I've wanted to have for years. Someone, maybe me, asked our friend how it was he came to be whatever he is. His answer surprised me.

Corny though it sounds, he said, what's been most useful to me is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I try to listen to people.

Be nice.

So, how could I resist? I got a copy of the book & jumped in. Maybe I'm the last person on Earth to do this? It's both boring and fascinating. It's everything you know. Don't act nice. Do be nice. Don't flatter. Be thankful. Don't blather on about what you want. Understand what the person next to you wants, and see if you can make both your wants go hand in hand.

I'm working on it.